You aren't a real writer unless you are sat at your desk for four hours a day
and other rules we would never expect anyone else to live by
Have you ever told yourself that? Or thought it?
This is exactly what I used to tell myself, for years. I would agonize over how much I needed to write, but didn’t. Did telling myself what real writers do make me a better writer? Hell no. It put me under a huge amount of guilt and pressure, which pushed the impetus to write and flow further away from my reach.
I talked last week to Claire from
on their podcast about my book Plant Your Poetry: 365 Poems and Prompts to Grow Your Writing Habit and I wanted to share further on why a flexible, self-compassionate writing practice is crucial for my survival, or surthrival as a writer. It is my hope that it may help you breathe a sigh of relief and offer an alternative route to reaching the same goal, to adopt a healthy writing practice that is filled with inspiration, momentum and ease.What does that look like? It will (and should) look different for everyone.
I was reluctant to even put the words ‘grow a writing habit’, in the title of my book because this can trigger our brains into thinking writing must become a habit and it must be cumulative and measurable and quantifiable. Ha ha. Not the case in my experience. I’d tried everything to structure a writing practice and I had so much confusion and guilt as to why it just wasn’t working for me. I tried multiple, complex systems, I’d read books, listened to podcasts, became a list writer, meditation expert, I’d tried spreadsheets, chanting, everything - I’d given so much precedence to having the right system to feel like a writer who had their shit together and I felt more stuck than ever.
So what helped to get me out of that never-ending cycle?
Taking it day by day. One day I will be hype-focused, super excited and interested in the ideas creation stage and the next day, I’m exhausted, I need rest or be outside, in solitude and I can’t think even about what ingredients to put in a cup of tea. Although this is exacerbated by my neurodivergence, I think others can also relate - if I plan or schedule too much, i.e. try to control the process and bend it to my will, I end up squeezing myself into impossible situations and expectations that I just can’t adhere to.
Self-awareness and observation. My creative practice has always reflected how I’ve shown up in other avenues in my life. It is directly related and affected so therefore I have to be extra careful about how I spend my time, who with and how much - it is a constantly evolving process that can be cyclical too, I move with the tides and the seasons. If I wake up at 2am and I can’t get a thought out of my head or I have a brilliant idea, I write it down on a post-it note or I follow the impulse, get it out of my system and return to bed. If I’m foggy and crave a slow morning, I allow myself that flexibility.
Kindness and self-compassion. I don’t beat myself up for having what my brain would consider an ‘unproductive day’, I love and support myself back to writing rather than scolding myself for not writing. Realizing that I’m neurodivergent was a huge wake up call for me and for understanding my needs when it comes to my creative practice. Holding myself up to expectations of someone who is neurotypical was debilitating and is something I’m learning more about as I go. I actually discovered this during the putting together of my book Plant Your Poetry and suddenly my entire life and struggles began to make perfect sense.
Lowering my expectations. Now I just feel it out, mostly. I have a vision, I have things I care about, my values, how I’d prefer to spend my time and who with, and I make action towards that when I feel the pull, but I try not to push or plan too much. I took those four hours where I thought I should be chained to my desk writing non-stop and changed it to writing on one prompt for ten minutes that day. It really helped to alleviate any pressure I put on myself of not being a real writer and it’s amazing just how much ten minutes a day can add up to in a year. It did the opposite of what I was scared it would do - minimize my creative output - and instead it unplugged the gunk and let my creative urges flow and in this case, more equaled more - my projects and books began to write themselves.
Balance. There was something about the forgiveness and the simplicity in this daily act, not only do I not have to think about what my writing is for, I don’t have to make it any particular length, it doesn’t have to go anywhere - whatever wants to be written simply exists. It got me out of the all of nothing phase, which has its uses - but when I committed to the long-game, this journey became much more sustainable.
Embracing the long-game. I initially wanted to call the book a Year of Yes because it was the year I said yes to my writing life like I’d often said yes and committed to other lovers, or employers in the past. But then I noticed how fragile, tenacious and fertile the writing life was and it reminded me of the patience and faith it takes to tend to a garden. It also fits more with the slowness of something like this, watching a plant will not make it bloom faster, just keep tending and supporting its environment as best you can and the flower will blossom by design.
The results? I’ve now been writing one poem a day for around two years, as well as this, I’ve supported so many other writers along the same journey who have created thousands of more poems than they thought they were capable of doing. I’ve seen such development within those poems and within their confidence - for me, the book was all about connection, to ourselves and to each other. And now a garden of poetry is growing across the world. All from ten minutes a day, writing on one prompt.
We are now coming to the final week of January’s Plant Your Poetry Prompt Calendar here on Substack, so if you want to opt in for February and join our community you can do so by becoming a paid subscriber for the price of a coffee. You will get access to the community chat where you can share your poems and receive support, daily poems from me and a monthly writing session on the first of every month, including a very special ‘lines I’ve loved’ section where I highlight your amazing words. At the beginning of every month you will receive a themed printable and downloadable prompt calendar with daily prompts straight to your inbox, all that you have to do is write. I’ll take care of everything else!
If you found this helpful, you may also like my essay, Ten Things I Learnt from Writing One Poem a Day Every Day for a Year
To listen to the podcast mentioned at the beginning of this article, you can do so here:
I’d love to hear your thoughts or additions to this list! <3 Write them in the comments and let’s share our gentle practices.
Stay fabulous,
Louise Goodfield
A Poet on the Road